My Place: Become,,,,

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Become,,,,

Forgive me,, for not being so patient when I was with you
Just realize, that life is not so easy
Considering, the situation will have to think wise with a decision
Life is unfair
Where to go
Who want to listen
I will have to swallow, keep deep in here,
Keep secreat, hiding somewhere, where no one can find it
Not even my shadows,,,

Just forgive me for being upset
I wish I could hold my breath for a moment
Then to release and tell what I have inside
Regret,, always appear eventually
It is too late,,,
Have to spirit, encourage myself

I love you ,,, four shadows...

You become my bell, you ring me when I fall
You become my spirit, you slap me whan I fainted
You become my clock, you alarm me when i stare on the wall
You become my lantern, you light me when I walk into the dark
You become my leader, when I can not see the distance
You become my blanket, when I feel lonely and cold
You warm me, you hugh me and flatter, rub me ,,,
I know you care about me...

My four shadows ,, please dont leave me alone

My love is everlasting....

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A NOTE FROM DAUGHTER

Sunday, May 10, 2009

May the 9th 2008
Jumat, 9 May 2008It was 4.00 in the morning, gue lagi tidur di kamar gue sama kakak gue. Tiba tiba mbak gue gedor gedor pintu sambil teriak teriak. Gue kira ada maling ato tikus super gede, jujur aja gue lebih ngarepin maling. Gue sama kakak gue yang pasti langsung kaget banget dan bangun, dan pas kakak gue buka pintunya, mbak gue udah nangis nangis dan bilang nyokap gue lagi di telfon. Gue bingung, ngapain nyokap gue telfon? Gue kira gue bangun kesiangan terus ditinggal. Kakak gue keluar dan nyamperin telfonnya, kakak gue diem aja nggak ngomong apa apa. Mbak gue masih nangis histeris. Tapi kali ini dia ngomong "Bapak udah nggak ada tuh, huuuuuu". Gue nganggep dia lebay, karena tadi malem gue masih bercanda bercanda sama bokap gue, dan bokap gue nggak nunjukin kalo dia sakit ato apa.Ternyata nyokap gue nelfon dari rumah sakit. Gue masih duduk di kasur, bengong, setengah percaya, setengah nggak. Mbak gue ngebangunin adek gue, sambil ngomong hal yang sama "Agil ayo banguuuun, bapak udah nggak ada tuh!". Terus kakak gue nutup telfon dari nyokap gue dan masuk kamar lagi, dia ganti baju, terus langsung ke musholla sebelah rumah gue. Baru gue percaya kalo bokap gue udah meninggal. Saking shocknya gue reflek ke kamar mandi, ambil air wudhu, terus sholat. Sampe sekarangpun gue masih nggak tau waktu itu gue sholat apa, niat sih sholat subuh, tapi adzan aja belom. Gue sholat sambil nangis, dalem hati berdoa semoga bokap gue belom meninggal, semoga nyokap gue salah informasi.Akhirnya adzan juga, abis adzan langsung di umumin di toa "Innalillahi wa innailaihi rojiuun, telah berpulang ke rahmatullah bapak Wahyu Sudono......" selebihnya gue nggak sanggup denger. Gue langsung tutup kuping sambil nangis. Gue masih nggak percaya bokap secepet itu pergi. Pas kakak gue balik, gue dipanggil ke kamar nyokap. Gue, kakak sama adek gue nangis, kita pelukan bertiga. Abis itu gue langsung sms Alif, Puput, Dhea sama bu Alfi.Jam setengah 6an kakak gue yang cowo sama nyokap balik. Nyokap keliatan tegar banget, nggak keliatan dia nangis, dia ngasih tau temen2nya juga nggak nangis, and that made me even more upset. Karena kayaknya gue nggak bisa sekuat dia. She's the best ever, gue tau dia berusaha kuat dan nggak nangis di depan anak2nya biar kita juga nggak nangis. Baru jam 12an anak anak 8B dateng. Nggak tau kenapa pas ketemu mereka, gue nggak ngerasa sedih lagi, bawaanya pengen senyuuuum terus, love you guys! Jujur aja gue seneng mereka dateng.Selama perjalanan ke kuburan gue udah agak lega, gue bisa tidur. Karena bayangin aja, gue baru tidur jam 12an, dibangunin jam 4 dengan gedoran pintu yang kenceng banget sampe gue trauma sekarang, dan gue nggak sempet mandi, hehehe. Pas nyampe sana juga gue masih kuat. Baru pas bokap dimasukin ke liang kubur, gue mulai nggak kuat. Kakak gue yang cowok juga nggak kuat, dia hampir pingsan di dalem situ pas mau masukin bokap. Waktu bokap di tutup pake papan kayu, gue ngerasa kasian, pasti di dalem sana sepi. Gue mulai nangis lagi waktu tanah dimasukin ke dalem lobang itu, makin lama makin nutupin bokap. Gue langsung meluk nyokap, dan nggak tau gimana gue nggak denger nyokap gue nangis. Like I said, she was trying to be strong for her kids. Dan ternyata yang nangis nggak cuma keluarga aja; tetangga, temen bokap dan nyokap ikut nangis.One thing that I've always regret; I only knew all of his kindnes after he was gone. I always thought that he was not a good father. And now I know that he has so many friends out there, friends who owe him something because he helped them. My dad helped people even when he himself was in a difficult time. I wish he could live longer so I could spend more time with him and tell him how much I love him, and how proud I am to once had a father like him. He is the greatest man I'v ever known.P.S.: Gue baru berani ceritain ini setelah setaun yang lalu.
Posted by wiana ariztriani at 11:38 PM