My Place: Lost

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lost

It is hard to believe that you have gone
I am seeing now,, the shadows struggle to reach the treasures
If I had only new, that life is too short, I will never abandon the moment that never come back.
I want the feeling never go away.
Time tells, Time has made it change into reality

God,, I know its too late
Too late to cry,
Too late to regret
Too late to begging,, wish this is only dream

I am alone,,
I am lost,,,
I am dying in the darkness
I almost alone,,
My heart crash, while you are not there
My soul tear apart into pieces
The sadness has won
I can not imagine live without you

I am Lost,,,,already

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A NOTE FROM DAUGHTER

Sunday, May 10, 2009

May the 9th 2008
Jumat, 9 May 2008It was 4.00 in the morning, gue lagi tidur di kamar gue sama kakak gue. Tiba tiba mbak gue gedor gedor pintu sambil teriak teriak. Gue kira ada maling ato tikus super gede, jujur aja gue lebih ngarepin maling. Gue sama kakak gue yang pasti langsung kaget banget dan bangun, dan pas kakak gue buka pintunya, mbak gue udah nangis nangis dan bilang nyokap gue lagi di telfon. Gue bingung, ngapain nyokap gue telfon? Gue kira gue bangun kesiangan terus ditinggal. Kakak gue keluar dan nyamperin telfonnya, kakak gue diem aja nggak ngomong apa apa. Mbak gue masih nangis histeris. Tapi kali ini dia ngomong "Bapak udah nggak ada tuh, huuuuuu". Gue nganggep dia lebay, karena tadi malem gue masih bercanda bercanda sama bokap gue, dan bokap gue nggak nunjukin kalo dia sakit ato apa.Ternyata nyokap gue nelfon dari rumah sakit. Gue masih duduk di kasur, bengong, setengah percaya, setengah nggak. Mbak gue ngebangunin adek gue, sambil ngomong hal yang sama "Agil ayo banguuuun, bapak udah nggak ada tuh!". Terus kakak gue nutup telfon dari nyokap gue dan masuk kamar lagi, dia ganti baju, terus langsung ke musholla sebelah rumah gue. Baru gue percaya kalo bokap gue udah meninggal. Saking shocknya gue reflek ke kamar mandi, ambil air wudhu, terus sholat. Sampe sekarangpun gue masih nggak tau waktu itu gue sholat apa, niat sih sholat subuh, tapi adzan aja belom. Gue sholat sambil nangis, dalem hati berdoa semoga bokap gue belom meninggal, semoga nyokap gue salah informasi.Akhirnya adzan juga, abis adzan langsung di umumin di toa "Innalillahi wa innailaihi rojiuun, telah berpulang ke rahmatullah bapak Wahyu Sudono......" selebihnya gue nggak sanggup denger. Gue langsung tutup kuping sambil nangis. Gue masih nggak percaya bokap secepet itu pergi. Pas kakak gue balik, gue dipanggil ke kamar nyokap. Gue, kakak sama adek gue nangis, kita pelukan bertiga. Abis itu gue langsung sms Alif, Puput, Dhea sama bu Alfi.Jam setengah 6an kakak gue yang cowo sama nyokap balik. Nyokap keliatan tegar banget, nggak keliatan dia nangis, dia ngasih tau temen2nya juga nggak nangis, and that made me even more upset. Karena kayaknya gue nggak bisa sekuat dia. She's the best ever, gue tau dia berusaha kuat dan nggak nangis di depan anak2nya biar kita juga nggak nangis. Baru jam 12an anak anak 8B dateng. Nggak tau kenapa pas ketemu mereka, gue nggak ngerasa sedih lagi, bawaanya pengen senyuuuum terus, love you guys! Jujur aja gue seneng mereka dateng.Selama perjalanan ke kuburan gue udah agak lega, gue bisa tidur. Karena bayangin aja, gue baru tidur jam 12an, dibangunin jam 4 dengan gedoran pintu yang kenceng banget sampe gue trauma sekarang, dan gue nggak sempet mandi, hehehe. Pas nyampe sana juga gue masih kuat. Baru pas bokap dimasukin ke liang kubur, gue mulai nggak kuat. Kakak gue yang cowok juga nggak kuat, dia hampir pingsan di dalem situ pas mau masukin bokap. Waktu bokap di tutup pake papan kayu, gue ngerasa kasian, pasti di dalem sana sepi. Gue mulai nangis lagi waktu tanah dimasukin ke dalem lobang itu, makin lama makin nutupin bokap. Gue langsung meluk nyokap, dan nggak tau gimana gue nggak denger nyokap gue nangis. Like I said, she was trying to be strong for her kids. Dan ternyata yang nangis nggak cuma keluarga aja; tetangga, temen bokap dan nyokap ikut nangis.One thing that I've always regret; I only knew all of his kindnes after he was gone. I always thought that he was not a good father. And now I know that he has so many friends out there, friends who owe him something because he helped them. My dad helped people even when he himself was in a difficult time. I wish he could live longer so I could spend more time with him and tell him how much I love him, and how proud I am to once had a father like him. He is the greatest man I'v ever known.P.S.: Gue baru berani ceritain ini setelah setaun yang lalu.
Posted by wiana ariztriani at 11:38 PM